Problems of a Married Gamer: Caring is Sharing…It Can Be Fun?

I’m married, and my husband complains that I don’t talk about him enough online. So here’s proof of his existence:


I don’t have bangs anymore. Zooey Deschanel may have ruined them forever. Since I have been living with my husband for 3-4 years (I can’t remember exactly…we had to have the wedding the day after my birthday so I could get our anniversary straight) we’ve had occasional problems having two gamers in the house.

You’d think we would be living the dream. Every gamer secretly wants their significant other to be game friendly. No one else will understand why you’re frantically yelling “STFU NOOB” at the computer screen when Sona steals your kill in League of Legends. Non-gaming partners may eventually come to understand that leaving you alone while you’re on the computer/console is a good idea, but they’ll never quite be able to share your joys and frustrations.

Player 2It’s true that playing Halo, League of Legends, Little Big Planet, or ModNation Racers with a partner is fantastic. You always have a player two on standby, and they typically don’t mind if you spend your entire weekend re-play the Mass Effect triology. Although I’ve had to learn that’s not allowed on date weekends, or trips when I’m supposed to be socializing with my in-laws.

So, in-laws aside there are some key problems that hubby and I have had over the years. While some of these have improved with money, throwing money at things is rarely a long-term solution for us (because we’re poor).

1.)  Not enough bandwidth a.k.a STOP WATCHING NETFLIX WHILE I’M PLAYING

slow_internetLook, when you have two people trying to play League of Legends and watch Netflix simultaneously…things aren’t going to go well. We’ve moved fairly often in the past few years and this problem wanes and waxes with our internet company. Currently we have ATT U-Verse (do not recommend) and some days it can barely handle Netflix by itself.

This means that we can’t always enjoy using the internet at the same time. Sometimes *gasp* we have to share if we both want to do things that will eat our internet. So maybe I pull out my Firely DVDs and lust after Captain Reynolds for an hour or two while hubby plays and later we switch and he watches his Lost blu-ray collection. This isn’t always ideal. Sometimes I might not have a game, or DVD I want to watch. Sometimes I just want to binge-watch Orange is the New Black or hop on my League of Legends smurf account and squash noobs.

Again, this doesn’t happen too often, but it’s definitely a frustration you can look forward to when living with another person.

2.) Epic battles for the Television

When husband and I first moved in together, we only owned one television. It was a nice television, one husband bought with some extra loan money, but all those inches couldn’t make up for the fact that we only had one.

I don’t want to watch husband play Dark Souls or BioShock all day long. BioShock creeped me out so badly the first time I watched him play that it received a perma ban from our house during hours I was at home. Conversely, husband doesn’t want to watch me play Kingdom Hearts or Dragon Age all day. I really can’t imagine why.

This means, yet again, we’ve had to learn how to share. Before we had the same work schedules, this was much easier. Our shifts never quite lined up so we each had time to spend at home by ourselves gorging on gaming. Now that we have big kid jobs this has become more problematic. Luckily, this was a problem we could throw money at. Our set up now looks something like this:

Dueling TVs
(Please excuse the picture quality and mess)

If you don’t have the money for an extra TV, you too will have to share.

3.) Only One Game. Also Spoilers. 

The problem with two gamers in the house is that on occasion – not too often because husband and I don’t like the same games – we are both interested in the same game. And since not enough games have co-op campaigns (or at least not enough games that I would want to play that way) we have to decide which of us gets to play first.

If we only have one disc of a game (like Borderlands 2) I usually take the backseat, because I have more time on my hands than he does. We also get lucky when things are free on Playstation Plus . Sometimes this problem has an added symptom of spoilers.


I just started playing Tomb Raider when it recently became free for Playstation Plus members.  What I love about the game so far is the cinematic experience that makes me feel like I’m right there with Lara.  When my husband started playing it and passed my save point, things got tense. I can’t be in the same room as he plays the game because I don’t want my experience ruined.

We don’t have a good solution for this problem yet other than sticking my fingers in my ears, putting on blinders, and screaming “I CAN’T HEAR YOU”. It’s a work in progress, just like most long-term relationships.

So for all you gamers out there looking to monogamously commit yourself, choose someone without internet needs that doesn’t mind when you spend long swaths of time ignoring them for video games. Or you know, grow some balls/ovaries and learn how to share.


  1. Great post! It embodies the spirit of me and my husband as well, especially your point about spoilers. We’ve yet to have side-by-side TVs (though we’d considered it), and instead have different systems attached to TV’s in different rooms. It works well when we each need a little “alone but not really alone” time.

Chat me up!